Day 43: Chiron and the Escape

This morning, I woke up with plans to take it really easy. I've been overwhelmed, exhausted, in need of a full day to relax or finish a personal project.

My brother called, emotionally distressed. I know his life has been quite difficult and the forced isolation the world is going through is mentally overwhelming him. Right now, all I can do is keep calling him and hoping he will pick up or wait for updates from my family. Last I heard, his girlfriend was on the phone with him, calming him down. I am worried and all I can do is wait... pray... It's incredibly hard living hundreds of miles away from my family.

There isn't much I can do to change my brother's mind about the possibilities of life. I have gotten these calls many times before and they are usually triggered by his romantic troubles. I believe he has the chance for a new and different life, but he has to want that. I know the world is at an extreme halt and this is hard for people that have severe depression. What can we do to help the people that don't have access to the proper mental health care or are trapped lowest moments of their lives? I wish he knew that it isn't just him struggling, that life will always have challenges. I know he sees me doing well independently, but he doesn't see how much work I put in to get here. I have depression. I have my doubts and fears. I've had my moments of wanting it all to end. My heart has been broken by family, friends, and lovers. I have felt the loneliness he feels. Life is hard, little brother, but we have to take chances for what we truly want.

I decided to take a look at his Chiron placement in his natal birth chart: Libra in the 3rd house. He is constantly hurt by his relationships and whenever he tries to explain the pain, the meaning of his words, he feels like no one is listening. And yet... his N.Node is also in Libra, but in the 4th house. His wounds are also his life path... that is difficult. It makes me feel like we, as a family, has truly failed him. But he also needs to learn to want it and find a way to compromise with people, the world.

I love him so much. And my heart breaks constantly for him.

Update [4.29.2020 @ 9:19PM]: Later that evening, my father texted me that my brother came home safely. My brother texted me "I'm sorry" later that night. He is doing fine.